Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Blogging Is Hard

Blogging is hard. So are introductions. Introductions are the bane of my existence. Conclusions too. And blogging. This is my fourth attempt at starting a blog. FOURTH ATTEMPT. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to Taylor Swift and wondering how this time around is any different. I've got the blogger bug - that's no different. I'm older. Two years, in fact, than when I first tried, but I that isn't convincing me of anything other than the fact that I can buy my own lottery ticket now. So what is this invisible force that's driving me to attempt the impossible? Well you see, I think it's that horribly terrifying thing called "Help me, I don't know what I'm doing with my life." I just started college, and while rekindling my blog seems like a kick-yourself-in-the-face-for-trying-to-balance-a-blog-with-all-your-schoolwork thing to do, I'm doing it anyway. Hopefully.

I'm your typical 19-year-old girl except that I'm not. I'm socially awkward (inept might be a better word). I'm a neat-freak. Book-worm. Film fanatic and professional Netflix-binge watcher. And while I'm all those things I feel like I'm nothing at all. Now don't get all freaked out on me - this isn't some weird emo diary you've walked into, I promise. It's just that everyone seems to have their life figured out and I know that's not really the case but it feels that way.

I thought I would like college. I don't hate it, but people talk about the friends you'll make and the adventures you'll go on but they don't mention the stress or the loneliness you'll feel - at least they don't mention it seriously. What I'm trying to say is, college isn't making me as happy as I thought it would. There. I said it. 

So, because I'm not as happy as I thought I would be, I'm doing something that does make me happy - writing. And not those hard-to-pull-from-your-brain essays like I've been writing for the past few months. No no, this is happy writing. That is, writing about things that make me happy. (Try to keep up okay?) And not just writing. Sharing my likes, hobbies, interests, because who doesn't like to talk about themselves? Because how am I ever going to get through the next 3 years of my life without a bit of happiness? 

Now, before you all go off on a rant about how I shouldn't wish my life away and that I'm young and I should be living in the moment and taking advantage of my college years STOP. Now. First of all, no one is reading my posts this early on in the game so who am I kidding. Second, in case you are a kind human and you ARE reading my very first official blogger post, I am not wishing my life away. I'm simply trying to find my place in this world. How's that for a cringe-worthy line?

So while I have no clue what I want to do with my life (does anybody?), I'm hoping to find some solace in writing out my thoughts, ideas, likes, interests, and REALLY INTERESTING *not* life events and sharing them with a bunch of strangers.


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